Rebel Without a Cake Read online

  I stood in the doorway for a minute, pleased with the cheerleader costume I’d thrown together at the last minute and half expecting them all to leap out of their seats and shout, “Surprise!” It took a while for me to realize that wasn’t going to happen.

  “What’s going on?” I asked when nobody spoke. “What’s everybody doing back here? We have work to do. Ox, you and I are meeting with Evangeline Delahunt tomorrow and we have a lot to get ready before then. Dwight, aren’t you supposed to be working on the Holt retirement cake?”

  Someone in the back of the room stood up and moved toward me. He was tall. Solid. Six feet or so of good ol’ boy charm, dressed as a plainclothes police officer—only that was no costume. What was Sullivan doing here?

  “Sit down, Rita,” he said. “Your friends asked me to come here today because they’re concerned about you.”

  I laughed uncomfortably and held out my arms so they could all get a good look. “I’m fine, okay? I barely got a scratch. Junior Laroche is in jail facing so many charges he’ll probably never go free.” This was only about the hundredth time I’d said the same thing since I came back from Baie Rebelle, but they all seemed determined to doubt me.

  Sullivan kept walking, and for the first time I noticed that Gabriel was also there, sitting in the corner. His face was solemn, his eyes a cloudy brown.

  “You’re not fine,” Sullivan said. “In the space of a few days you were in an accident that totaled your Mercedes, almost got caught in a house fire, got shot at, and were kidnapped. Have I left anything out?”

  A few mumbles rose up from my so-called friends (and I use that term loosely). I laughed and looked around the room in disbelief. “Cut it out, you guys! You all look so serious, but you can’t stage an intervention wearing Halloween costumes! Gabriel, quit glaring at me. And you, Sullivan. You’re just being creepy.”

  “This isn’t a joke,” Estelle said. Her round cheeks turned pink and her full red-lipped mouth curved into a frown so deep it touched one of her chins. “You have to stop doing this. One of these days you’re going to come back dead.”

  I grinned at her phrasing. “Well, actually—”

  “You know what she means,” Dwight said, cutting me off. “You’re not a cop. You’re not a private investigator. You can’t keep putting yourself in danger.”

  “Hey, look. I didn’t want to get involved,” I told them. “I tried not to get involved. I would have been right here at work if I hadn’t been in that accident.”

  “Which you got into because you were following a murder suspect,” Isabeau pointed out.

  “A minor point since he turned out to be innocent.” I turned away. “You all go ahead and have your fun. It was hilarious. But now I’m going back to work.”

  Sullivan stepped in front of me. “It’s not a joke,” he said softly. “They really are staging an intervention.”

  “Well, that’s just silly,” I said. “Will you all knock it off? We have too much work to waste time like this.”

  Ox stood and started to say something, but at that very moment Edie let out a yowl and cut him off. She stared down at the pumpkin costume and tried to get a look at the floor. “My water just broke!”

  “Nice try,” I told her. “It’s not going to work this time.”

  “No! I’m serious! Look!”

  Isabeau was the only one who took the bait, but the look on her face after she checked the floor spurred everyone else to action. For the moment all of my transgressions were forgotten. If I was lucky, they’d all be so wrapped up in the baby once it got here, it would be a while before they remembered.

  “Call River,” I told Sparkle when I realized that the baby was really and truly on its way. “Now!”

  * * *

  The baby came into the world that night at nine fifteen. I don’t know if anyone else was surprised when River came out of the delivery room to tell us he had a son, but I sure was. I’d been almost certain the baby was a girl.

  Maybe that’s because I was still freaking out about the godmother thing. I knew nothing about babies, but I stood a remote chance of getting it right with a girl child. You could fit what I knew about boys on the head of a pin. A very small pin.

  The hospital staff kept us all away until Edie had recovered enough for visitors. Sparkle was half crazy by the time they let her in to see her nephew. She and I went into Edie’s room first, Sparkle as the baby’s vampire aunt and me as his cheerleader godmother. I guess there were some perks.

  Edie, relieved of her pumpkin costume, looked weak but happy and River just looked overwhelmed, but in a good way. He held the baby, but it was obvious that the baby already had his daddy wrapped around his little finger.

  I kissed Edie’s cheek and gave River a quick but awkward hug so I wouldn’t hurt his little bundle of joy. “I can’t believe he’s really here,” I whispered. “Do you have a name yet?”

  Edie shook her head and leaned back on her pillow. “Not yet. We haven’t really talked about it.”

  “John David,” River whispered.

  Edie gave him a bleary one-eyed look. “What?”

  “I’d like his name to be John David.”

  “I love it,” Sparkle said. “It’s perfect.”

  Edie opened the other eye. “Don’t I get a say in this?”

  “Of course,” River assured her. “I just said that I’d like his name to be John David. If you don’t like it, we’ll find another one.”

  Edie gave up a weary smile. “I never said I don’t like it. It just came out of the blue, that’s all. What’s so special about John David?”

  River kissed the baby’s forehead and traced a finger along his cheek. “Nothing really. It’s just the name I wanted for myself when I was a kid.”

  I thought it was a nice name. I tried sending Edie a subliminal message not to turn this perfect moment into an argument. It must have worked, because she let out a soft sigh and said, “Sounds good to me. You’re his father.”

  After a while, River put John David in Sparkle’s arms, and that’s when I found out that the baby had miracle-working powers. The instant Sparkle touched her new nephew, she went through a remarkable transformation.

  With one breath that baby tore off the bored goth mask Sparkle wore every day and exposed her for who she really was: a real live girl. I’d been privileged to catch glimpses of her in the past, beneath the pale makeup, the leather, and the spikes, but John David brought her out into the open. She laughed and cooed and even sang—which wasn’t really her strong suit but John David didn’t seem to mind.

  And then it was my turn. River showed me what to do with my arms and explained about supporting the newborn’s neck, then carefully settled the baby—my godson—in the crook of my arm and took a step back. The baby was heavier than I’d expected, but I thought I adjusted quickly. Then he stirred and I looked up at River in a panic. “I think you should take him back.”

  “You’re okay.”

  “But what if I drop him?”

  “You won’t,” Edie said.

  “I could,” I warned. “I could lose my grip on him. He could roll right out of my arms and land on the floor and get hurt.”

  “You’ll be fine,” River said and took another step away.

  “But—”

  John David made a mewling sound and I looked down at his perfect little face. And just like that I fell hopelessly in love. I’d just been blindsided again, but this time I didn’t mind at all.

  Recipes

  Cajun Boudin Sausage

  Makes 4 to 4½ pounds sausage

  1½ pounds pork steak

  ½ pound fresh pork liver, rinsed (Use the freshest liver possible, and for best results, don’t use frozen.)

  1 medium onion, coarsely chopped

  3 garlic cloves

  1 sprig fresh thyme

 
2 bay leaves

  cold water as needed

  4 feet of 1½-inch sausage casings (Can be found at many grocery stores and specialty markets or even ordered.)

  kosher salt and black pepper to taste

  2 cups uncooked long-grain rice

  1 bunch green onions, thinly sliced

  ½ cup Italian parsley, finely chopped

  cayenne pepper to taste

  Cut the pork steak and liver into 2-inch pieces and place in a large saucepan. Add the onion, garlic, thyme, and bay leaves. Cover with water (1 to 1½ inches over the contents of the pan). Season to taste with salt and black pepper.

  Bring to a boil then lower the heat to a simmer; skim off any foam that rises to the surface. Simmer for about 1 hour or until the meat is very tender. Remove the bay leaves and thyme, then strain the solids from the broth. (Be sure to reserve the broth.)

  Grind the meats and cooked onion and garlic while they’re still hot. If you don’t have a meat grinder, you can chop the meat into small pieces by hand.

  To make the rice: In a saucepan with a lid, combine the rice with 3 cups of the reserved broth. (You can make the rice with water, but using the broth adds a lot of wonderful flavor.)

  Taste the broth for seasoning. If necessary, season with salt and black pepper. Bring to a boil, then turn down to very low heat and cover. Cook until the rice is tender and the liquid is absorbed, about 20 minutes. Do not remove the lid from the pot during cooking time.

  When the rice is cooked, combine it with the ground meat mixture, green onions, and parsley. Mix thoroughly and season to taste with salt, black pepper, and cayenne.

  Stuff into prepared hog (sausage) casings or form into patties or balls for pan frying.

  Boudin also makes a great stuffing.

  To heat the stuffed boudin sausages, either poach them in water between 165ºF and 185ºF, or brush the casings with a little oil and bake in a 400ºF oven until heated through and the skins are crispy. If poaching, take the boudin out of the casings to eat it because the casings can become rubbery.

  * * *

  Aunt Margaret’s Pea-Picking Cake

  (aka Pig-Picking Cake)

  Makes one three-layer cake using 8- or 9-inch round cake pans

  1 (18-ounce) “moist”-type yellow cake mix (Regular cake mixes will work as well, but the layers may be shorter and denser.)

  1 (11-ounce) can mandarin oranges with juice

  4 eggs

  ½ cup vegetable oil

  1 (8-ounce) carton frozen whipped topping, thawed

  1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, with juice

  1 (3.4-ounce, 4-serving) box instant vanilla pudding

  Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Grease and flour three 8- or 9-inch cake pans.

  In a mixing bowl, combine the cake mix, mandarin oranges and juice, eggs, and oil. Beat for 2 minutes with an electric mixer.

  Pour into the pans and bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until the cake tester comes out clean.

  Cool in the pans for 5 minutes, turn out of the pans, and finish cooling on wire racks.

  To make the frosting: In a mixing bowl, combine the whipped topping, pineapple and juice, and vanilla pudding mix. Frost between the layers and on the top of the cake. (The frosting will be too light to stick to the sides of the cake.)

  * * *

  Homemade Banana Pudding

  This recipe has been passed down for a few generations and, like so many recipes of its kind, information on serving sizes has been lost (if it ever existed). I’m going to say this recipe will serve 12, but if you have a table full of folks who really love their banana pudding, it may only serve 6.

  1 box vanilla wafer cookies

  5 bananas

  ½ cup sugar

  ⅓ cup flour

  3 egg yolks

  2 cups milk

  dash salt

  ½ teaspoon vanilla

  whipped cream (You can use a prepared whipped topping if desired.)

  Place a layer of vanilla wafer cookies in the bottom of a medium-sized mixing bowl. Slice a banana over the top. Repeat two more times with another layer of wafers and the remaining bananas.

  In a saucepan (or double boiler) on medium-low heat, combine the rest of the ingredients except the vanilla. Stir well with a wire whisk.

  Allow to cook until thickened, stirring constantly to prevent scorching (about 15 minutes). Add the vanilla and stir.

  Immediately pour over the wafers and bananas. Let sit for about 5 minutes or so before serving, to allow the wafers time to absorb the pudding. Top with whipped cream.

  * * *

  Alligator in Garlic Wine Sauce

  Serves 8

  2 pounds alligator meat, cut into cubes

  3 tablespoons fresh lime juice

  salt and pepper to taste

  approximately 1 cup flour

  2 tablespoons olive oil

  1 tablespoon minced garlic

  ½ cup white wine (Use a wine you would drink at the table for best results.)

  Toss the alligator cubes with the lime juice, cover, and refrigerate for 1 hour to marinate.

  Squeeze any excess liquid from the alligator and place into a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper, then toss with enough flour to coat.

  Remove the alligator, shake off the excess flour, and set aside.

  Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the garlic; cook and stir until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the alligator, and cook until firm and opaque, 5 to 6 minutes.

  Remove and place the alligator in a serving dish, then pour the wine into the skillet and simmer until thickened, about 2 minutes. Pour the sauce over the alligator to serve.

  * * *

  Cousin Eskil’s Barbecue Sauce

  Makes about a pint

  4 tablespoons cornstarch, mixed with water

  2 cloves garlic, minced

  ½ to 1 cup distilled vinegar

  ½ to 1 cup ketchup

  1½ cups brown sugar

  1 teaspoon seasoned salt

  1 teaspoon soy sauce (up to 1 tablespoon, to taste)

  Cook all the ingredients together, stirring constantly until thickened. Pour into a bottle and store in the refrigerator.

  * * *

  Roasted Parmesan Sweet Potatoes

  Serves 3 to 4

  2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed

  2 large cloves garlic, minced

  2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

  2 to 3 tablespoons Parmesan cheese, finely grated

  ½ teaspoon dried thyme

  salt and pepper to taste

  Preheat the oven to 400ºF, and put the oven rack in the middle position. Line the bottom of a large baking sheet with aluminum foil.

  In a medium-sized bowl, place the cubed sweet potatoes, garlic, olive oil, Parmesan cheese, and dried thyme. Distribute the ingredients evenly to cover the sweet potatoes. Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste. Transfer the sweet potato mixture to the prepared baking sheet and spread out so that the cubes are in a single layer.

  Roast in the oven for about 40 minutes, or until the potatoes can be easily pierced with a sharp knife. Set the oven to broil, and broil until the tops of the potatoes start to brown, about 8 to 10 minutes (keep an eye on them when broiling, as your time may differ and you want to take care not to burn them).

  Serve immediately.

  * * *

  Candy Corn Cupcakes

  Makes 18 cupcakes

  CUPCAKES

  1 (18-ounce) white cake mix

  2 eggs

  1 cup sour cream

  ½ cup milk

  ⅓ cup vegetable oil (I prefer canola, but use what you like best.)

  orange and yellow food coloring

  FROSTI
NG

  1 cup butter

  4 cups powdered sugar

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  ⅓ cup heavy whipping cream

  GARNISH

  candy corns

  orange sprinkles

  Preheat the oven to 350ºF, and line cupcake pan with paper liners. If you use white liners, the colors of the cupcakes will show through beautifully.

  Combine all the cupcake ingredients in a large bowl and mix just until incorporated. Scrape the sides of the bowl and then beat on medium-high speed for 3 minutes.

  Divide the batter in half. Color one half orange and the other half yellow.

  Fill the paper liners with about 1 to 2 tablespoons of yellow batter. Top with 1 to 2 tablespoons of orange batter. Bake according to cake mix package directions—about 15 to 18 minutes.

  Cool the cupcakes.

  To make the buttercream frosting: In a mixing bowl, cream the butter until fluffy. Add the powdered sugar and continue creaming until the frosting is well blended. Add the salt, vanilla, and whipping cream. Blend on low speed until moistened. Beat at high speed until the frosting is fluffy.

  Frost cooled cupcakes and add garnish.

  Note: You can use this technique for fun confetti cupcakes using any color combinations you’d like; e.g., pink and blue for a baby shower or primary colors for a child’s birthday.